Chapter 1!

September was the month when I got admission. Everyone was saying, "You're lucky that you got a chance to go to Bombay for your studies. This is an opportunity you can't let go; you will improve in everything. Your English will improve, and you will be able to talk more confidently. You will get to know how to talk to people." All these words were forcefully entered into my mind.

Before coming to Bombay, I had learned or faced many things, both related to my academics and non-academics. But, one thing is on my mind: not getting close to anyone. I know it sounds cringe, but yes, for these four years, I really don't want to get close to anyone. I don't want anyone to know me.

When I started going to college, it was like, "What! I have to complete my course from here?" I left all those colleges for this college (BIG DISAPPOINTMENT). After a few months, I was able to convince myself it's okay; whatever happened, now I have to stay here and do my best. Everyone says that when you are in college, talk to everyone, make your group bigger, be friendly, and make friends. Since completing my school, I have only two friends whom I can say are my friends since when I was in school. So, now you can imagine what type of person I am. Also, I'm not introverted, and I'm not so friendly with everyone. I believe in one thing: what belongs to everyone belongs to no one. So, that is the reason I don't have many friends.

When I was in class 12, I got close to someone. Someone who I can say is my really good friend. After so many months, I can say to any other person that she is my friend. Yes, we are really good friends. In those days, we talked and shared everything without any thoughts of judgment. What he/she will think, nothing like that. For the first time, I'm getting close to someone like this. We are just friends, nothing more than that. But something happened after that; it's not the same. Now we can say we are friends, but we also know it's not like it used to be. But, no problem, it happens with everyone; this is what life is. People will not remain the same or be with anyone till the end.

Now I'm in college, and I don't want to repeat this thing. Like if I get too close to anyone, I just want to stay the same with that person. The bond that we used to share should remain the same. Only this thing I want or nothing I want. People used to say boys' friendships are different; they are on the next level. Maybe I'm also unlucky in this. Till now, as I'm writing this blog, I can say I have no friends! Yes, for any help or query, they will talk to me. When they want something, only then they will talk.

Now I have shifted from the hostel to a flat with my two classmates. We used to talk, go out for a movie, or any kind of trip, but it seems like we are doing it only for formality. Like we force ourselves to do such things. In the starting days of college, I spent all day with them, but even then, I felt like I was being ignored; it happens many times. I used to think they don't know how to treat anybody, but after many days, I got to know it happens only with me, like how they are treating and behaving. Then I also started doing the same thing with them. I almost cut off from them, but now we are in the same house, and I cannot completely cut off from them. So, I started spending time with my friend, who made me feel like maybe I can also be anyone's friend...

-Dimwit

This dimwit's chronicles are far from over. Stay tuned for more tales of chaos, growth, and the pursuit of authenticity. Until then, keep embracing your unique journey, quirks and all...